its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
