I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
There's always time for handjobs
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
