I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
