I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
