I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She announced her abortion via fbk
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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