He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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