its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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