i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Randomize
