And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
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