can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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