come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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