I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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