Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
