I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
