hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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