Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
I love having hate sex.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
