I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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