Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
please come you make the beer taste better
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Randomize
