Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I just threw up on my dentist
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
