It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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