If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I supernannyed him into submission
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
