He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I love having hate sex.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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