I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
