she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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