guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
