we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
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