Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
