wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
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