my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
