SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
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