There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
I enjoy the company of your penis
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
