That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Panties = found
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
