I accidentally burped into my bong.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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