I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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