There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
