Swine flu. Run for my life!
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Randomize
