I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
