It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
