so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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