I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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