Betty ford says i'm here all night
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
