is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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