Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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