Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Randomize
