I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
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