I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
