Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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