My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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