I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
