Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
