Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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