Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
